I broke free on Monday :)

My nurse Kelly set up this really cute board for me the first day I got there, it has check boxes to cross off each day that I complete my meds. It was encouraging to see how much farther I had to go, and how much we had already done.  I thought I wouldn't be done till Tuesday, but I finished early on Monday. Such a good feeling to go home earlier than expected.  That day, I brought everything home, presents and all, and unpacked a little. I had to go get a bunch of prescriptions at the store, and then I was pretty drained from the day.  The smallest things now made and make me tired.  Tuesday, we had a friend bringing us over dinner, and were planning on going to bike night which we do each Tuesday with the Combat Ryders in Mission Viejo. They have all become such a strong support system for me as well as Richie.  In prep for "going out" for a quick hello, and having people bring dinner over, I decided a good shower and hair was was needed.  Lets just say, 2.5 hours later I was exhausted.  It took me forever to get dressed, and the best way I can describe the feeling is....imagine you are hiking at a high altitude.  It felt like no matter how many breaths I took, there was no damn oxygen in the room.  My friend Ashley brought us an amazing dinner that night. After a bird portion ( because thats how much I can eat now at once) I was perfectly full and ready for bed. Richie went to see everyone at bike night, and I stayed home to rest. I have had one night with a pretty sever headache, one night of severe nausea, but other that that I feel pretty good. Last night was the first "normal" night I have had at home, and sleeping the night through was AMAZING.  My prior side effects I talked about were from my chemo drugs in the hospital, and a shot called NewLasta they gave me which stimulates my bone marrow to regenerate faster and keep my immune system up during this process.  I got my nails done too, and It made me feel like a new girl.  The first week out of the hospital was definitely different than I expected, but now  I know more about what to expect so  I can recognize these things after the next course in the hospital. I'm excited to say I am cutting my hair today, and donating it to Locks Of Love.  I'll do a shorter cut until it starts to fall out, then it will be shaved off. Im not ok with watching my hair fall out in clumps, so Im taking the high road and beating it to that punch.  Im excited to get a shorter cut for the next week or two though, and my friend Kylee is the only one I trust to do it.  Ill post a pic once I get back home.

Merry Christmas !!!

Merry Xmas and happy holidays to everyone.  This is my 4th day (I think) at Mission Hospital.  No complaints here.  I have had 3 full days of chemo, tonight at midnight will be my 4th full day. Then after the 4th full day of chemo is complete, they push a drug called Cytoxan for a few hours (another drug that treats cancers) and then I will be all set to go home :) So Monday or Tuesday at the latest I think. It's been hard being away from home and from Rhino, but everyone else has been amazing and has come to see me in the hospital. My room is decorated with three little trees, I have flowers, balloons, blankets, pajamas, backpacks, stockings, decorations, and all kinds of yummy snacks. The amount of support I have received has been mind blowing to say the least. Even the support I have received thought messages and texts has been so sweet and thoughtful, and even through the holiday when I know everyone must be super busy with family and shopping. Thank you so much to everyone that has shown support to me, even a small text really has made my day.  My parents , brother, in laws, and husband are all swinging by at some point today to do presents with me. I definitely don't feel stuck in the hospital, if anything, I feel like I am being waited on here. My nurses have been more than amazing, I have had a couple of them on multiple shifts, and had a friend take care of me twice already which has been very comforting.  I am ready to get home now thought. A day or two longer, and Ill get to sleep in my own bed and shower in my own shower. I think I am going to leave my PICC line ( the longer IV) in my arm for the first few chemo weeks and see how it goes. It wasn't super painful to put in, but the less procedures the better for me right now. I did have a lumbar puncture two days ago, where they inserted a small needle and catheter between my vertebra in my lower spine, took out some fluid for testing, put some chemo in there to treat my spinal fluid (just in case) and sent me on my way.  That was a trip. But Im not scared to have that done each time I come in again. Wasn't too bad, so anyone out there contemplating an epidural, my experience was a pretty pleasant one once my fear of the unknown was over.  Im gonna catch up on some Netflix. Any suggestions are always appreciated. Love you all !!

Day #1 -- completely handled :)

So as you know, after my consultation with a doctor at the City of hope on Monday, it was advised that I get started with treatment ASAP. Had some yummy breakfast at Bagels and Brew with the in-laws, and headed over to Mission Regional Hospital. This hospital is amazing ! Everyone is always so nice to me. I had some blood drawn right away, and then they put in a PICC line.  This is a line bigger than an IV, that goes from my upper arm (on the inside like an IV), up toward my shoulder, and down my chest into my Vena Cava which is one of the main blood vessels.  Its pretty cool since now I don't have to be repeatedly poked, they can put in my medicine through my line, and even do blood draws from it.  I had a BUNCH of visitors last night which  was great, and i even had some little elfs come and decorate my room. My blog isnt letting me upload pics for some reason, so I will have to post them on my facebook I guess.  Slept so good last night, and today I have an amazing nurse taking care of me. She is a friend of a friend who I have met before, and she is the best from what I hear.  So day one of chemo has been handled, and I am not having any side effects which is awesome.

Let's get this started !!

It looks like my cancer has decided to be a little more aggressive than we thought.  I have been having some back pain and tension headaches from stress this last few days. My appointment today at the City of Hope went really well. The doctor I met with was very knowledgeable. She wanted me to get started right away, so she called my doctor, and suggested we start ASAP. I asked if I could start tonight, so I would be done by xmas, but I don't think I will be able to get a bed ,and have the chemo ordered in time. My doctor is shooting to start Wednesday, and if he can get me in tomorrow ( Tuesday) he will. So we are just waiting to hear the word from him.  If I'm in the hospital, my family is all bringing xmas to me :)
My appointments are always really emotional for me. It pisses me off that my body is doing something that I cannot control, but will control my life for the next 6 months.  I have an amazing support system though, so I know whatever happens I will have lots of love and assistance through it.  Bone marrow / stem cell transplant after the chemo is not a for sure thing, which is encouraging. They will do more scans half way through chemo to see how I am responding, and will decide at the end if a transplant is needed.  They did tell me I need to wait 2 years after I finish treatment to try and get pregnant, which is kind of a bummer, but I guess the first 2 years are the most critical so they don't want me having kids till they know I am in remission.  It was a lot of info today, and I have to admit I am getting nervous for this all to start. Mostly because I really just want to get this handled, and not have to think about it anymore.  My chemo schedule will be 5 days in the hospital, 2-3 weeks home, repeat for 6 months.  I don't want to be away from home that long, but getting treatment in the hospital is supposed to be better. The patients have less side effects, because I can receive meds for nausea, pain, etc directly through my IV.  So, in every potential negative, it seems like there are many many more positives.  Thank you everyone for your support, it means so much and really gives me strength.

Being outside is the best medicine

Richie, Rhino, Zoey, and I went on a hike today. We went on a trail that took us up pretty high though Mission Viejo, and found about a dozen other trails that we want to do soon.  Since being diagnosed, I have not been to the gym. Bummer. I was working out five days a week up until the day being admitted to Mission Hospital. It has been 5 weeks, and I am going crazy. I want to get as physically healthy and strong as I can during this process.  Today was day #1. Back at the gym this week. Now that all my testing and procedures are completed, I can start back up again my Doc said. Richie said there is a cancer run the second week in January, and it's a 5K. Im going to see if I can do it.  I'd really like to, so I am gonna start training again.  A 5k during all this is a good goal for me to work toward.

City of Hope Appointment

Finally got my appointment at the City of Hope. I am meeting with an amazing doctor there on Monday afternoon.  She is gonna give me the info on what she feels is the best treatment for me, and is familiar with cases like mine. I am very anxious to get all this started. I think I will be having a port put in under the skin near my collar bone, so each time they do chemo and blood work, they dont have so start a new IV. From what I have heard, it is much easier just to tap into that and draw straight from there. Kinda nervous about my chemo schedule, and to hear what she thinks about doing bone marrow/stem cell transplant after the chemo. But, Im glad I will know more after monday. This waiting game is slowing me down. Lets get this handled already !!

Little Pilozos

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. One of the girls from my fertility doctor's office brought me the best gift today :)  She brought me the pictures of our 7 little embryos. Right now they are "chilling" at 200 degrees below freezing, and waiting till all my cancer treatments are all finished.  Haven't been feeling that positive the last few days, and this turned it all around . Thank you Robin !!!!!

Getting everyone caught up

Hey everyone,
So as many of you know, I have been dealing with some health issues this past month. For those of you that don’t, I will catch you up.  About a month ago, after a week of an upset stomach (which I thought was from eating some bad cheese) my co-worker urged me to get an ultrasound to see what was the source.  Some “masses” appeared in my abdomen, so I was sent to the ER to have further testing done.  Making a long story short, a few CT scans, blood work, ultrasounds, and an abdominal needle biopsy later…. I was diagnosed with Lymphoma cancer.  This was a pretty scary few days.  The Coast Guard flew Richie home as soon as they could, since he was not scheduled to be back from Alaska till Xmas eve.
For a while, my Oncologist was attempting to determine which kind of Lymphoma I had. For anyone who is familiar with this type of cancer, you know there are more than 10 kinds. Super confusing, even for me as a nurse.  After running more tests, it was determined I actually have a hybrid of two types. My official diagnosis is ……ready for it……. Diffused Large B-cell Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma with Birketts attributes.  Thats a mouth full. My doctor said that he sees B-cell lymphoma monthly, has only seen 3 Birketts cases in his career, and hasn’t ever seen a patient with both. Guess that means I’m special (no short bus jokes mom).  They staged me at stage 4, but staging for Lymphoma is different than other cancers.  My bone marrow biopsy came back normal, and to date all my blood work still looks normal. I am in process of going up to The City of Hope in LA to have a consultation with a doctor who I have read about in medical journals and is described as a “lymphoma genius”. She and my current Oncologist together will set up a Chemotherapy schedule, which it looks like I will be starting at the beginning of the year.
The last month has been busy to say the least. Doctors appointments daily, and even twice daily, blood work, scans, shots, etc.  Some  exciting news though, my Oncologist suggested we harvest my eggs, so that after chemotherapy we are able to have some healthy babies. Most of my eggs will be destroyed during this whole process. So we did that last month. Shots and appointments daily were difficult, but we harvested 7 little embryos that are “chillin” at 200 below zero until this whole thing is over with.

Well, thats it for now. I just wanted to update you all, but doing so in person and on the phone is time consuming ast you can imagine. Love you guys.